Mastering Masturbation

Straight up, most people have masturbated at some point in their lives. Actually, a lot of people: 95% of males and 89% of females (according to a national study). That means—hallelujah!—if you feel strange about your self-love habits, you definitely shouldn’t. Masturbation is completely normal and it’s actually the first sexual act that most people experience in their lives.

Check out this graph from the National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior to see what sexual behaviors take place through various age groups (masturbation is at the top).

Graph source:


So now that we’ve established HOW MANY people do it, what do you say we talk a bit more about HOW to do it in general. Here at, we get lots of questions about good positions for masturbation. And while we’re not going to get into detailed diagrams in this blog, we will say this: experimenting is the key to success.

Masturbating can be wildly empowering as you discover how your body responds to certain sexual touch. By exploring the different ways that you can reach orgasm alone, you can make it easier to get to the big O when you’re with a partner. Taking the opportunity to explore yourself may even help you reach increasingly more intense levels of pleasure. Oh, and did we mention you don’t have to do it alone? Masturbation may be “you touching you,” but that doesn’t mean a partner can’t be present.

Here are some specific ideas for the misters and misses out there.


Both clitoral and g-spot stimulation are options for reaching a happy climax J Consider using lubes, vibrators, showerheads (hold the stream up against you) or other objects (rubbing up against pillows, for example) to help you along. Just make sure everything is clean and tidy (hands included) to prevent any bacteria getting into your lady parts.


There are lots of things men can do to make their masturbation sessions as pleasurable as possible. You may enjoy a standard stroke, the slapping approach (slapping your penis from hand to hand, against your stomach or against other objects), lubricants or even other types of stimulation, including anal. Same rule goes for the dudes: keep your hands and any toys as clean as a whistle to avoid infection or other ickiness.

In Conclusion…

We’re talking about some pretty hot and heavy stuff here, which is why we also need to talk about the three masturbating musts. First, masturbation and discretion go hand in hand, so make sure you pick nice, private locations to do it in. Second, sometimes it requires some clean-up, so do it where you have access to some tissues or a washcloth. And third, be safe. Don’t do anything that will harm your body. This is supposed to be enjoyable, and when you approach it the right way, it can be some of the most fun you’ll have with your clothes off.

“Masturbation. It’s the opposite of the weather. Nearly everyone does it, but hardly anyone talks about it.” Dr. Ruth